Where it All Began

I'll Never Forget that Day by the Pool

My young sons and I had just moved into a new neighborhood after their dad and I got divorced. We were the only ones at the community pool that early summer day: them on one side, me on the other. I heard tiny, excited voices yell across the water, “Mom! Come play with us!”I looked over at my 8- and 6-year-old wide-eyed kids, enthusiastic and eager to experience their new “backyard” pool with their momma, waved them off, and in a bulimic hangover slurred, “Nahh. I’m good.”

That was the moment I realized I wouldn’t even hire me as a babysitter, much less be the one responsible for teaching them how to do life. 

That was the day my life – our lives – changed forever.

It was then I made the decision my boys would be better off living with their dad.

…and I only saw my sons five times in six years. 

Five.times.

What happened during that time they spent without their mom, though, is why you’re reading this right now. Those six years were filled searching for anything I could find that promised to (or even hinted that it might) cure the bulimia — to rescue me from myself and fill the voids I’d been so desperate my whole life to fill.

They were also burdened with more disappointment, failure, and hopelessness.

It wasn’t until I learned what I now know to be 1000% true that everything changed. 

Once I learned I was living from acceptance rather than for it, felt seen and heard rather than believing I didn’t matter — once I trusted in who and Whose I am — hope was restored.

I spent less time wearing a path between the pantry and the bathroom. 

My relationships got deeper and more meaningful.

I no longer felt that when people looked at me they only saw my secret.

Once I learned  the “cure” for me is the same cure for every person who’s ever drawn a breath or who ever will — that each one of us matters and we don’t have to prove it — I knew I was on to something HUGE. I discovered I had in my possession the white flag that ends the wars raging over our identities and worthiness.  

I learned I was still alive to share this hope and freedom with YOU.

It’s time to risk showing up for all that you are…and all that you are not.

It’s time you too learn to embrace your unique identity rather than continue trying to adjust it to match someone else’s. 

Now is the time for you to enjoy your success and experience that fulfillment you’ve been craving.

Now is the perfect time to get started. 

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